My take on the Twilight frenzy

Disclaimer (as usual) : I'm being very blunt and tactless. True fans of twilight please dont read this.

I read the whole saga... 4 books: twilight, new moon, eclipse, breaking dawn. Funny right for a man. I dont know any other man that reads twilight... in fact not a lot of other man i know read books. Yeah i might get teased for this but i had a sincere motive for doing so.. my wife was realllllyy intttoo it together with most young women that reads it. They go gogo-gaga over Edward Cullen or Jacob. So in trying to be a better lover to the wife i wanted to read and try to emulate a few traits so that she would love me more. Always get into the minds of the people around you... not in a manipulating way but just to know them better. I'm always sincere in my motives...

First of all, it didnt take me long to finish it all.. maybe 3-4 weeks for the 4 books which is relatively fast for me. Maybe you think because its a really good book that i can't put down... but in truth i was skipping most of the lovely dovey mushy gooey chummy stuff. The intention was to learn the lovely dovey mushy gooey chummy stuff but it was just too repetitive and kinda cheesy in reality. I know because i tried to be all that but the wife thought that i was more being sarcastic than authentic. Its just too cheesy to pull it off in real life. Imagine in every single sentence you have to show affections. So thats about half the book already, hence the speed reading. All the plots was too simple in my opinion, i can tell u the whole story in 10 minutes.. especially the first book which might take me only a minute

So lessons i learned (this is really biased and exaggerating but in good humor, stop reading if it offends you, and im always up for arguments):

1. Always show affection and make the women feelings come first even though there is war, millions of live is at stake, doomsday etc etc. The world always has problems so everything has to wait until she says its ok. Example: Bella asked Edward to stay even though he can help save lives of many and bla bla blaaa..
   
2. When the girl likes you, whatever you do they will always interpret into something sweet while if their not into you whatever you do rarely is right. Example: Edward stalking Bella while she sleeps without her permission is crazy romantic, someone else might just get shot instead.
   
3. Sacrifices is romantic. Example: Edward offers Jacob to impregnate Bella because he cant - A big NO for most people but it shows sacrificing. No pain no gain in love irrelevant of morals.
4. Women love gifts especially surprised gifts. They normally say they dont want any but thats a lie. The more unique the gifts the better. Example: Too many gifts for bella, but i cant recall she giving anything to anybody that is of significance.
   
5. When the women wants something.. they are very determined. Can or cannot is a different issue. The massive impact is also irrelevant. The important thing is they want what they want. Example: Bella wants to be a vampire, everybody is against it and just plain bad decision but whatever as long as she gets it.
   
6. Listen to whatever she has to say and do all her bidding. Yes its impossible with all the whining and illogical requests but what to do. When in love, your a slave to your lover (sometimes its lopsided). Example: Edward does everything what Bella wants, what a pushover but girls find it romantic. Sometimes i think they just want us to be their machai for free as gesture of true love.. .yeah right.
   

I thought i had a few other points but i forgot cause this entry was initially written a few weeks ago. i delayed it because the wife was against it because me doing so somehow spoils it all for her. A good friend of mine taught me its easier to seek forgiveness rather than consent.

ps.. i'm sorry dear. hahahahah i love u nonetheless.